it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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