ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
