Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
