dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
