If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my poor anus
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize