Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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