There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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