he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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