do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
