if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize