She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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