FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my being single is dangerous.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize