Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Randomize
