you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
