So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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