When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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