did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
