You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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