great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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