idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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