Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
