I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize