Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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