i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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