My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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