My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
