Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
