It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
