so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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