I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize