I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
