his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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