I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I hope mine doesn't look like that
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize