So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
