I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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