it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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