ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
