To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
