You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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