i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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