After last night, I could never be a politician.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
