We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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