That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
