So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
