So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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