Little spoons don't ask big questions
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
