time to smoke my breakfast
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
