I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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