I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
