I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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