I'm really into asian looking animals
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
