dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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