Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize