Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
