Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
