So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize