What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
