Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize