I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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