If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
