can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
