Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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