dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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